I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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