so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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