And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize