Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
