well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
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