My boss' voice literally gives me gas
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
My pussy is not your playground.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
