dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
i need some magic done to my vagina
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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