Just fell off a train. Bad.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
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