Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Randomize
