She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
