we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
