Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I smell like Dick and happiness
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