SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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