Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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