shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I am puke
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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