you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
