Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
