you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
we're chasing vodka with high fives
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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