well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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