Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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