Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize