mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
