ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
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