i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
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i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
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I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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