Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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