Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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