Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize