whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
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