What a fucking waste of an outfit
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
