Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I just want nice things and good sex
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
