Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
