Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
