you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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