I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
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We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
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Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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