obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Can you bring me the toilet please
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
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