She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
