don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
