I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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