Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
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He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
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My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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