so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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