youre lurking in front of me
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize