If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
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