Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
