He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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