My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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