I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
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Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
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Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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