i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
