So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
