I'm going to jail i love you
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
