You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I just had sex on a roof
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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