I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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