You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize