oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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