I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
