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Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
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