he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize